Twin A is a very motivated person. He wakes up in the
morning (long before he needs to) all by himself with no prompting from me. He
goes off to school and does his work and brings home his homework and gets it
done and prepares for whatever activity he will be participating in that
evening. He takes care of his diabetes without any input from me, he does his
laundry when it needs to be done, and he turns out his light when he feels
tired. He’s like a machine, a very happy, cute, self-sufficient machine.
Twin B is not. Twin B takes after his mama. He won’t get up
unless I tell him to, he’ll do his homework but only if he feels like it (thank
god he tests well), he sets up camp in his room and watches videos on his
laptop until I tell him to get ready for whatever activity he needs to
participate in. His laundry gets done when he’s down to too-short track pants
and that t-shirt that he hates and he only takes his medication after I ask him
too. He’s like a cliché of a teenager, a
very funny, cute, energy-conserving (aka lazy) teenager.
A few years ago, Malison took a course in Sports Psychology.
She learned that different people are motivated by different things. Some
people need a reward at the end, some people are self-motivated, and some
people need to see progress as they work towards their goals. I am one of the
latter. I did a 30-day challenge for yoga and went for 30 days because every
day I got a sticker on a chart. Once I got the first sticker I needed to
complete the chart because any holes would look messy. It doesn’t have to make
sense, it just is, ok? Geez.
This month, I decided Twin B should have a chart. He would
pick three goals and every day he would get three stickers. It’s an experiment
to see if he is motivated the same way I am. He is. And he decided that if he
is doing this chart thing than I would have to too.
Twin B’s goals include:
Eight minutes a day writing with his left hand. He feels
that when he’s drumming his right hand is doing exactly what he tells it to
while his left hand just flops around. He’s decided that if he practices
writing with his left hand then he’ll have more control over it. Nobody needs
mention that there is a difference between fine and gross motor skills because
the way he’s decided to practice is to write in Letters to Mom.
Twenty minutes of studying Social every day. Exams are
coming up so this is a great goal. A few days after we made the charts, he
realized that after exams there is still half a month left. I told him that he
could still study Social well into summer vacation, but he heartily disagreed.
He’ll think of something to replace that goal after his exam.
Random chores is the last goal. Some of his chores aren’t so
random like garbage and lawn care, but I don’t really care because, for the
first time ever, he’s not complaining about doing them. And he’s excited about
doing other chores too, like organizing his bookshelf and closet, grocery
shopping, and washing their car.
I’m finding that Twin B is a little more present in his life
for the last week. That doesn’t mean that he’s stopped hiding in his room with
his laptop, but he’s conscious about getting his stickers and plans ahead and
it’s fascinating to watch. Every day we have a little contest on who can get
all their stickers first (which I totally kick ass at, but I might be cheating
a little by being at home while he’s at school).
Fingers crossed that this continues!
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